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I was in a store this past week and ran into a bunch of nuns. (That sounds like the beginning of a bad joke doesn't it!?) Actually I was minding my business in the freezer section looking for something when an older lady tapped me on the back and asked if I could reach something for her on the top shelf. When I turned around to comply I found four nuns standing there smiling at me hopefully. I can testify that at least four nuns in the world eat "Broccoli Normandy."

All of them had on their habits and veils upon their head. These "sisters" had little green tassels around their waste that hung down to the bottom of their skirts. They all had special wedding bands on that were created by the Catholic Church to indicate that they are supposedly married to "Jesus Christ" and will never marry a man as is the normal course of life. As you probably know, these people do such things as a life-long commitment. And in the Roman Catholic Church, the lifetime single rule applies to the priests as well. Maybe that's why they are having trouble now days finding people to enter the priesthood!

Since I brought it up, I might as well tell you that the belief that nuns and priests should be single goes back to the Middle Ages and the Pope Gregory in the 1500s who decided that it should be so. The belief is a gross misinterpretation of the scriptures that we read as our texts which are scriptures that are easily explained and understood if you just read them, but few people today do that -- actually read the scriptures and study them. Jesus taught that some people had a gift of celibacy and that they were called to do so for the kingdom of God's sake. That is absolutely true. There are people today even among Pentecostal ranks -- Bro. Stoneking comes to mind -- who have chosen not to marry in order to give themselves for the kingdom of God. Occasionally, God will call people to such a calling and the reasoning is simple: people who are not married have much less responsibility and obligations than married folks. They also tend to be more flexible and less tied down. They are supposed to have more time, although most single people would argue that point.

The Apostle Paul was such a person. Whether or not he was ever married is a sure fire topic to fire up any group of scholars. Some say that he had to be because he was a Pharisee and some sects of the Pharisees required marriage to be a part. Others say "no way, Jose'." If Paul was married at one time, that fact is never mentioned in scripture and it's very apparent that he spent his entire ministry unmarried. In our text, Paul made it clear that his ability to remain unmarried was a "gift" that not all men could handle and that it was not the will for all to follow him. He said:

1 Cor 7:7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.

Paul knew that if everyone was as he was -- that is single AND devoted completely to God -- that the Gospel of Jesus Christ would spread even faster. Nevertheless, Paul admitted that not everyone had the gift of the calling and if not then they should marry.

So it is a scriptural principle that some people are called to be single for the rest of their lives for the sake of the kingdom of God, but it is NEVER found in scripture a rule that someone going into the ministry HAS to be single. The Catholic Church dreamed that up 1500 years after the time of Christ and well after the Apostolic Age. Their theology runs into serious scriptural problems the chief being that Peter -- whom they consider to be the first pope -- was married. That's a scriptural fact because Jesus healed his mother-in-law (Matthew 8:14-15) and Paul later mentioned that Peter often took his wife with him on missionary journeys (1 Corinthians 9:5). It's very obvious that Peter was a minister and in fact the leader of them and yet he was married which punches a huge hole in the false doctrine of the Roman Catholic Church.

The interesting point about all of this is that by forbidding those involved in ministry to marry, the Catholic Church fulfilled prophecy that said in the last days people that a false religion would arise that taught such things. The scripture is Paul writing to Timothy:

This is pretty strong language in this prophecy! In the last days there would be a movement that would "depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devil?!" That sounds like nothing good to me. And verse 3 says that two of the characteristics of this movement would be "forbidding to marry" and "commanding to abstain from meats." The Roman Catholic Church has at various times fulfilled all of these criteria in forbidding their ministries to marry and in the forbidding of eating red meat on Fridays. (By the way that is currently renounced by the "pope" and even the most devout Catholic can -- at least for the time being -- eat meat on Friday.) This is just one of many proofs that the Catholic Church is an apostasy, a deception that is the exact opposite of the true Apostolic Church. And as you know the most serious problem in the Catholic Church today is the molestation of altar boys and nuns by the priests. It is such a serious issue that the other day I heard that the church had settled over 70 cases in one parish alone by paying damages to the parents. And it's like they don't realize that such a high number might be indicative of that the church doctrine is way off? I listened to some local talk shows back when it was a hot topic and nobody ever called and stated the real issue and that is that the Catholic Church by their false doctrines of forcing the ministry into celibacy is causing men and women who were not called by God with a gift to be so into such a lifestyle and the result is the perversion of their God-given desires. These situations are never easy, but it's really the church's doctrine that has created their mess. And yet people blindly follow that religion over and over again. It's sad, really, that so many families are having to bear the brunt and destruction of false doctrine in a religion.

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Nuns and priests are not the only ones who go through life without marriage, but there is a growing population of people who will live their lives -- even in America -- and never tie the knot for non-religious reasons. I got on a few websites this week and looked at some stats. In an article entitled "I do, but not now" an Associated Press story outlined that the U.S. Census Bureau figures for 2003 show that a third of the men and nearly a quarter of the women between the ages of 30 and 34 have never been married, a rate that is FOUR times the figures of 1970! Furthermore the average age that a person marries today has risen continually since 1970. In 1970, only 6% of women ages 30-34 had never been married; the figure was 23 percent in 2003. The never-married men in the same group rose from 9 to 33%! And I could go on and on. The bottom line is that today there are more people than ever before choosing to live their lives without marriage as an option. Simply put they are content to exist as "people who never marry."

To understand where I'm going with this, you must understand a couple of important principles in scripture. The first is that God established relationships, even the marriage relationship and the home and families, so that we could relate to Him and understand His love. He is our heavenly Father, but we wouldn't understand what that meant if we did not have a concept of a daddy. Indeed, some people who had an abusive father or a jerk for dad sometimes have trouble referring to God as our "Father," but despite the failures of humans, God is a terrific "Father of us all!" And so the first principle that you must understand is that individually, when we are saved, we become the "sons and daughters of God." That is, on a one to one basis He treats us as "His children."

That's an exciting principle and not a bad one. That means that our "Father" owns the cattle on a thousand hills and everything in the universe! That means that we will one day be "heirs" to His inheritance! That means that He can give us all good things that we need and will do so in the proper time. That means that He will protect us and keep us from danger. When you are "born again" of the water and of the Spirit, you become a spiritual baby and a child of God! It's one of the most basic principles of scripture and one that has a zillion verses to back it up. But we individually become "children of God" when we are born again into the kingdom of heaven.

But here's the contrasting point. While as individuals we are sons and daughters of God, together everybody in the church makes up the "bride of Christ." In other words, contrary to what the Catholics think, there is no one person who is the bride of Christ, but rather the "bride of Christ" is "the church." To be in the bride of Christ, you must be in the church and that's a very important principle to understand. There are many scriptures that speak of this principle in Revelation. Paul spelled it out when he wrote to the entire church of Corinth which he had founded:

In other words, corporately or as a whole, God deals with the church as His bride. It's a very basic understanding that has some deep applications. For example, understand that God's Spirit will move upon you in different ways and deal with you in a church service or around other believers than it will when you are at home praying alone. Individually, God speaks to us and deals with us as His children. He corrects us. He wants to teach us. He wants to direct our lives and guide us. There are some people who never develop a personal prayer life or study time because they are expecting to feel the Holy Ghost in the way that they do at church at home. They say that they have "trouble hearing from God" alone at home when really the issue is that they don't recognize that God deals with them differently when they are alone. When we are by ourselves, God will address issues in our personal life as a Father to a child. It's more personal and yet more detached in the same way. It's more correction and us obeying that it is "feel good" emotions.

But in church, when you come together with other believers and worship, then God's Spirit deals with us and moves as our fiancé. Understand that we are only "espoused" or engaged to Jesus Christ and our wedding day hasn't come yet but it will happen when He comes back for us. And so we are not "married" to Jesus Christ yet, but the church is "engaged" to be married. And so when we all come together to worship with other believers, God deals with us as a fiancé should act to his girlfriend. It's romantic. It's sweet. The Spirit of God soothes and is more about communication. You get goose bumps. That's fine, you're supposed to be "in love" with Jesus Christ! So get the difference: individually God treats and deals with you on the level of sons and daughters, but when we come together to fellowship, worship, or have church, God deals with us as "His bride." It's quite a difference and one that should perhaps explain that things don't always feel quite as exciting at home in your prayer closet as it does on Sunday night!

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The point of all of this is that -- as is often the case -- cultural tendencies have sprung up in the spiritual kingdom in like fashion. In America today, there is a rising group of people who don't mind be sons or daughters but who will spend their life choosing not to marry. That's fine and dandy. Unfortunately, in the religious sense, there is also a growing group of people who don't mind being the sons and daughters of God and will even handle pretty straight preaching from the Bible in correcting areas of their lives, and yet they spiritually are "people who never marry." They never make the commitment of becoming a functioning member of the church. They want the salvation and inheritance of being considered a "child of God" but they never become faithful to the local church and assembly. You know the type: they "can have church at home," and don't need a pastor or to come very often to actually meet with fellow believers or hear the Word of God, after all they are "just as much a child of God as you are." Yes, but they are missing a major point and that is Jesus Christ is coming back after a "bride that hath made herself ready" and NOT "after His kids." The party in heaven of those who go in the Rapture is referred to in scripture as "the marriage supper of the Lamb" and not a "day care." If you want to go to heaven, it takes more than just being born again into a spiritual kingdom, but you must also become a functioning member of the bride of Christ. That means regularly worshipping with other believers. That means regularly fellowshipping with fellow Christians. That means that you need a pastor in your life. That means that you need regular Bible Study and preaching. It means that you need to grow until you are contributing something to the kingdom of God in conjunction with the efforts of others. If you are the hand and I'm the feet as Paul said in 1 Corinthians 12, then we'd better work together! How can we learn to work together if we are never around each other, or never see each other?

But despite all of these principles and scriptures; despite the scriptures that tell us not to "forsake the assembling of ourselves together" and to do it even much more as we get closer to the return of Christ; despite the example of the Early Apostolic Church of the Book of Acts which met together often throughout the week, there are some people who want to be Christians and considered "sons and daughters of God" but who shun the engagement of involvement of the church. Simply put they are spiritual "people who never marry!"

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Why would there even be such a group of people? Why is the spiritual group of "people who never marry" growing? Why is there such a group of Christians that would not become an active part of the local church? Those are good questions which I would like to answer. If we answer them in the natural, then we have our reasons in the spiritual principle as well. Here are the top ten reasons why some people never marry. As we go through them, I think that you'll agree that they apply to the spirit world just as much!

Let's go in descending order from number 10 to number 1. The top ten reasons that "people who never marry" don't do so are:

10. They never find the right person.

You all know someone who uses this excuse and what they really mean is that they are too picky to be able to find someone to match their criteria. As one singles group says "many singles are so because they are not realistic in their expectations." There's nothing wrong with having certain criteria for a future mate, indeed the Bible gives some basic guidelines that we must have, but keep in mind that no one is perfect, either. Usually people who can't "find someone good enough," really think too highly of themselves. In their eyes they are perfect and so they can't find a match because everyone is someone below them.

There are people who are the same way about becoming spiritually engaged. They are looking for the perfect church where everybody is "just like them." I've met a few people even recently who said that they were "having trouble finding a church that suits them." Let me translate for you what they meant. What they meant is that they were finding churches full of ordinary human beings like themselves and yet the same eyes that are blind to their own faults for some reason can always see the faults of others! You should judge a church by it's doctrine and by the moving of the Spirit, but not by the faults of the people within it. The bride of Christ is made up of imperfect -- albeit forgiven and Spirit-filled -- human beings. If you were to find such a perfect church and join it, then it would no longer be perfect. We need to get our eyes off of what others are doing and on "what are we doing?" for Christ! The people that are doing nothing are usually the most easily offended and the most critical and mouthy!

9. They never bother to look for the right person.

Some people never bother to look for a mate. It's crazy but true. There are people out there who are around people all the time who are eligible and yet they just don't notice. They've reached adulthood, but they just don't "get it."

I've known people like that in the church. They attend church regularly and are around the church body all the time and yet they have never bothered to even consider that the question might be "what can I do for the kingdom of God in the church" and NOT "what can the church do for me?" They've never bothered to look for the purpose of the relationships that they are forming. It never occurred to them that God saved them from their sin for a purpose in His kingdom. It's never occurred to them that God had a plan for them in the church before they were even born -- naturally or spiritually. This happens most of all to people raised in church. God didn't save you to sit on a pew and take up space! The scripture says:

The reason some people in the natural like this never get married is because they didn't realize the opportunity was there. They didn't consider the "normal" as their opportunity. They are waiting for some prince to ride in on a shiny horse and carry them off into a fairytale. It's the same in the spirit. How many people consider "ministry" to be preaching and singing? That's only a small part of ministry. There are a lot of areas in the church where you can get involved, but the problem is we don't see the normal as an opportunity to actively get on board with the "bride of Christ." Really, cleaning the church and helping with bread is just as much a ministry and just as much needful than singing a solo.

8. They think that marriage is inconvenient.

Everything's not perfect in their life. It's the right guy or girl but the wrong time. Or it would be too much adjustment, to fit into their lifestyle a time-consuming relationship of engagement.

You can find these in the spiritual world too. They want to serve God and be a part, but right now things are too crazy. They want to do something for God, but it would cost too much time right now that they don't want to give. They would have to rework their schedule for church and activities. They would have to "rearrange some things" and "really, preacher, now's just not a good time." They mean to get on fire for God one day and make His kingdom priority, but one day never comes. Really their excuses are sometimes tied to our next reason why people who never marry are the way they are:

7. Their life is devoted to something else.

They put all their time and energy into their career and job. They're making money to have more things and so must work later and longer. Sometimes it's a life calling. They feel called to save the whales or something and so for a cause, they do without marriage. Sometimes it is a hobby that they devote their lives to, or academia and such.

It's the same with the church. Some people never get involved and really become an active week in and week out part of the bride of Christ because they are really devoted more to something else than the kingdom of God. All of their time and energy goes to work or their cause, leaving God little left over at the end of the week. All of their relationships suffer because of their other devotion and so their being an active part of the church is just one of many relationships that are going sour because of neglect in their life. They're too busy to do something for God within a local church framework.

6. They're scared of repeating horror stories that they've heard.

There's always someone that's been hurt and none in more areas than marriage. Every one of us can name someone whose marriage is horrible and that we don't want to emulate. Some singles hear the horror stories and because of the exceptions and the extremes, are scared away!

It's the same way with the future "bride of Christ." There are bad churches out there. There are bad pastors with wrong motives. There are saints who have been hurt doing the will of God and offended. There are some that have refused to get over it and forgive and are bitter and offended. And there are some who have experienced the "horror stories" of how bad it was back then for themselves and so they've been burned and therefore they're not going to commit to a local church body.

Well I'm here to tell you that not everybody's bitter. Not everybody's a hypocrite. And the people who were hurt and stayed bitter over it had their eyes in the wrong place anyway! Anybody who will quit a church because they got offended by a human being is attending that church for the wrong reasons anyway. Jesus Christ hasn't offended you or if He did say something that you didn't like, you needed to hear it and it was right on. If a person can cause you to quit a church or ministry, then you weren't serving Jesus Christ, but you were serving the people in that church. You were trying to please the wrong people. If you will worry about pleasing Jesus, then you'll please the church.

Which brings us to our top five reasons why "people who never marry" stay single:

5. They allow others to influence them away from it.

I've known people that every time they were in a relationship with someone that they deeply cared about, their friends who were jealous that they were not spending as much time with or their parents who had some sort of sick satisfaction of having adult children dependent on them would sway them and keep them from following through on their relationship. To put it simply, they let others who were not in such a happy relationship influence them from marriage.

I've known people who decide to start living for God and then began to be swayed by the voice of those who aren't and listen to that voice until they're gone. A spouse that's jealous of the time you spend at church. School friends that miss you hanging out with them on Friday nights where you now go to youth service. A personal friend that doesn't want to commit to living for God and uses the weight of their friendship to persuade you from being sold out. Family that does the same thing. It happens all the time. But just remember this, your family can't save you and your friends can't save you, nor can they help you in every area of your life that you so desperately need help! You need a close relationship with Jesus more than you need their friendship!

4. They want to avoid the commitment.

Now we're getting down to the nitty-gritty. A LOT of people don't get married simply because they avoid all types of commitment. They don't want to be tied down. They don't want to be responsible to anyone. They don't want to have to answer for their actions. They don't want accountability. They don't want to be in obedience to anyone in authority. And so they'll be around until the big "C" word comes up and then they are so far gone that you wonder how they moved so fast. To some people "commitment" is an ugly word. It's the word that the mobile phone company uses to tie you down for two years. It's the word that embodies used car salesmen and being upside down on a car note.

But I'm here to tell you that the scriptures teach that if you can't love your brother whom you have seen, then how can you love God who you haven't? That's a principle that applies in other areas as well, including the area of commitment. If you can't commit to man's authority and make good your promises to humans, then how can are you going to submit to God's authority and make good on your promises to Him? The bottom line is you won't get anywhere in the kingdom of God without commitment and faithfulness! You are working to hear seven small words "well done thou good and faithful servant!" Jesus taught that taking up a cross was essential to "following me." You will only get as far in the kingdom of heaven as you are committed to the kingdom of heaven and that includes your local church. Your engagement is a binding commitment in the spirit!

Seven times in the New Testament we are commanded to "submit" ourselves. Twice wives are commanded to submit to their husbands in spiritual leadership. Once we are commanded to submit ourselves to God. Once we are commanded to submit ourselves to the laws of the land. But THREE times, we are commanded to submit ourselves to the leadership in the local church assembly. Think about that. God wants His people to be committed to an engagement and marriage called the church.

3. Their personal lifestyle habits are incompatible with living with someone else.

In other words, some people who never marry don't because they don't want to change some of their habits. They're "too set in their ways," they say. To be happily marriage you must be willing to change the habits that annoy or offend your partner.

And that is even more so in the Spirit where we are to be engaged to a Partner who happens to be perfect. In the "give and take" in this relationship, He's already given enough on Calvary. He paid the price for your sin, and now it's up to you to be willing to change some of the habits that offend Him. Without your willingness to change, your marriage with the Lamb of God is going nowhere!

This is where sacrifice comes in. It really doesn't matter what we feel like. It doesn't matter our opinion. If the Word of God identifies an area of our life that needs to change, we need to change that area. It's not a have to situation but should be something that we choose to do because of our desire to please our life partner. When I was engaged, I was very attune to what my wife liked or did not like. I about caused a world war one time because of a skirt that she wore to see me at my work that I didn't like. I hurt her feelings and I apologized, but I haven't seen that skirt since! Show me two people in a relationship who refuse to change certain things and mark things as "off limits" and I'll show you a relationship doomed to fail. That's true in the physical world and it's also true in the spiritual! I need His guidance and instruction. I need help living as He would have me to live right and Godly in this world!

2. They want to try to get the physical benefits of relationships without the marriage.

The number of singles in this category are increasing and it's a natural byproduct of the promiscuous behavior of our generation. I read one lady's comments this week: "the majority of people still want to get married, but they see it sort of as dessert now, something that's desirable rather than necessary..." My daddy used to have a saying for this type of behavior and that was "if you can get the milk without owning the cow, why bother buying one?" It's the spirit of the age that is destroying our nation that you can have the physical benefits of marriage without the commitment or relationship. The last time I checked, God called sexual relationships outside of marriage "sin."

And here's one of the many reasons. People who live together before they are married find out that it really does make a difference to actually be married. In fact, such people almost always have severe marriage trouble when they finally take the vow. The reason? They find that their entire relationship was based upon nothing more than physical need and that they really don't know each other on a personal basis. Their premature physical relationship caused them to overlook important areas that come to the surface after they are wedded.

And we have people who never marry spiritually for the same reason. They'll come to church every now and then and talk in tongues and feel the Holy Ghost, but they'll never commit to being faithful to services. If the preacher's not in town, they won't show up, or they'll never volunteer for a work day or any type of ministry where you have to commit to something beyond this week. They come and go. When they are there, they're there, but then you may not see them for three weeks. They want the spiritual benefit of a church body without the marriage!

Which brings us to our final and number one reason why some people never marry. It's also the number one reason why people don't get on fire for God and commit to serving the kingdom of God through their local assembly. It's very simple:

1. They've never truly fallen in love.

I've talked to people that were single to realize after only a few minutes that they've never truly been in love. They've never been smitten. Because people in love will do some things that would be crazy at any other time. They'll sacrifice huge amounts of money and time and devotion. They'll do whatever they can to spend time with the one that they love. You'll notice a change in their countenance when the name of their beloved is mentioned. They thrill for an opportunity to talk about their fiancé. People who are not in love shake their heads and say "you're crazy." It's a fairly normal phenomenon: you've fallen in love.

Too many Christians have never "fallen in love" with Jesus Christ. If you think church is a bunch of rules and dos and don'ts, then you've never fallen in love with Him. If you think the Bible is sort of harsh, then you've never fallen in love. If you think worship is stupid and pointless and don't give yourself completely to being lost in His Spirit, then you've never fallen in love. If you think coming to church more than once a week is crazy, you've never fallen in love. If someone's criticism can get you discouraged enough to quit being faithful, you've never fallen in love. If you think tithing is pointless, then you've never fallen in love. If your face doesn't light up when people ask "where do you go to church?," or "what sort of church do you go to?" then you've never fallen in love. If you misunderstand people who are radical about this thing and seem to be "out of their minds" for Jesus, then you've never fallen in love!

Jesus Christ is coming back for a bride that hath made herself ready! When the dust settles on the history of the human race and time has ended and all the final judgments are passed, there will -- for eternity -- be only two classes of people in two vastly different places. Those who are married to the Lamb of God and living happily with Him, and those "people who never marry." Whatever you do, you don't want to be in that last group!