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There is no one that can say that this lesson is not for them, and no one can say "well, tonight he's preaching to someone else." This lesson is to, for, and about something that everyone of us have failed at miserably at sometime in our life. If you can talk, then you have failed in controlling your tongue at one time or another. It's one of those things that just when you think you have learned to control it, you slip up again. James put it like this:

Only someone who is perfect never stumbles in word, and the last time that I checked there was no one here that was perfect beginning with the pastor! All of us need to learn to better control our tongues!

Because will never on this side of Heaven be perfect, some people do not bother trying to control their tongue. They have the attitude "if I will never perfect it, then what's the use to bother trying to corral it?" Let me give you a few reasons why Christians must continually work on taming their tongue although we will never completely perfect it:

After God has delivered you from sin, then you must allow Him to change you and transform you into being more like Him. What you say is a precursor to what you do. Few people yield to sin without talking about it first. Eve's partaking of the forbidden fruit started by having a conversation about the forbidden fruit! Simply put, if you cannot control your tongue, then you will never control your body.

The word for "religion" here literally means "worship" in the original Greek. God wants to reveal His truth to the world through true worshippers whose lives have been changed by His powerful Spirit. If a person worships God and yields to the presence of God completely but still gossips, lies, speaks in anger, "tells it like it is," gives "a piece of their mind," or refuses to bridle their tongue in like ways, they are actually turning people off to the power of God because the same mouth that is blessing God is "cursing people" and that double standard causes confusion, doubt, and hurt. Simply put, if you allow God to change everything about you except your tongue, then all of the good that has been done in your life will forever be overshadowed by the evil that your mouth will bring.

The Word of the Lord likens speech to precious metals such as silver. The words of the wicked are "worth little" but the tongues of the righteous is to be "choice silver." When silver is melted down, the impurities rise to the top and can be skimmed off, however not ALL of the impurities can be removed at one time. The metal is melted, the obvious impurities removed, then it is melted down again, and new impurities "pop up." The more times that silver is refined, the more pure it is, and the more it is worth. "Choice silver" is silver that has been through the melting down process many times and because of it's high purity is worth much, much more than just ore and rock. Even though we will never say everything perfect, yet Christians must continually work on controlling their tongue because it is God's will for our speech to become "purer" and "purer" until it is like "choice silver." You should be able to identify a Christian by their manner of speech and choice of words.

There are some trials and troubles that come from the Lord, life, people, or the devil. There is nothing that we can do to change that, and through such trials we must endure and continue being faithful to God and hopefully learn the lesson that He is trying to teach us. But many of our problems comes from our own creation, particularly by saying the wrong thing at the wrong time! You can do something about lessening those trials: learn when to keep your mouth shut!

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Nothing is as pretty or as refreshing as the right word spoke at the right time. We could do an entire lesson on "when we should open our mouth." But the problem most of us have is not when to open our mouth, but when we should keep it shut! Thankfully, the scriptures teach us clearly when it is better to not say anything. You should keep your mouths shut when ...

Almost anything that we say while we are angry will only make matters worse. It is true that our "actions speak louder than words" so even if we say the right thing with an angry attitude, we will worsen the situation. Cool down, then talk about it. Also remember that the scripture says "let not the sun go down on your wrath" (Ephesians 4:26). Wait a while for the anger to subside, but talk about it before the day is over!

We tend to be quick to believe a negative report and skeptical of positive ones. We must bridle our tongue by not responding to a negative report with our "opinion" until you know all of the facts, and to not question a positive report until you know more about it!

The tongue can kill spiritually quicker than the sword can kill physically. Before you unleash your tongue, ask yourself: "do I have three reliable witnesses that this is true." Someone who is a gossip and "knows" everything about everybody, does not even count as one reliable witness!

"Weaker brothers" means either fellow Christians who have weaknesses in particular areas, or are newer to the faith than you are. New Christians don't need to hear about your personal hurts and pains. Be careful of what you talk about around other church people. Be constantly aware of their situations and adjust your words accordingly. Perhaps God has been dealing with you on a specific situation and you have been studying 24/7 about that subject in scripture, before you bring it up and share all of your new-found knowledge about that subject, think about who is around you and if there is someone there that might be doing what God has convicted you of and yet God is dealing with even bigger issues in their life right now, keep your mouth shut! Remember that you are not the Holy Ghost, and you are not the Pastor!

To be like Jesus, we must guard against "deceit" and not "revile in return." Deceit is when you are untruthful without lying. What you said was not particularly a lie, but it led someone to think something that was not true. "Reviling" is when others attack you with words. We must not revile in return! Remember that when you are born into the body of Christ, that you become the representation of Jesus Christ to this world and to the people that you are commonly around in particular. Do they see Jesus in your speech and responses to people hurting you? Remember that Jesus did not attack back and only "forgave them."

There is two sides to this point: 1.) Don't irreverence sacred things such as the house of God, the Word of God, the preacher, and the Holy Ghost, by never taking them serious. and 2.) Don't be quick to condemn the moving of the Holy Ghost in someone else's life just because you have never seen it happen before or you have never personally experienced it.

Having fun is important, and a good, Godly sense of humor should accompany all Christians. But there are some things that are just not funny and sin is one of those things. "Fools" are amused by people doing sinful things and people who are not right with God tend to make light of things that God calls sin and abominations in an effort to smooth their own conscience about what they are doing. Be careful that you do not laugh when others are smiling at sin, because doing so expresses consent to them.

That's a testimony that we need to have! We should speak things that we would not be ashamed of hearing later on a recording! If there is some doubt as to whether or not you will regret saying these words later, then "keep your mouth shut!"

A person who understands the ways of God uses and chooses his words carefully. There are some circumstances that saying anything will convey a wrong impression. These cases usually involve a person of ill-will, unforgiving, or bitter spirits. The best way to deal with a gossip is to look at them and not say a thing. They want you to respond and will only give more information if you agree to be the receptacle of their garbage!

When you learn of something that does not concern you and you jump in and give your "two cents" you are only stirring up the matter and will end up getting hurt yourself. Nobody appreciates a nosy, busybody. The old saying is that "he who fights another man's battles, is like one who tries to put a ring in a pig's nose." In other words, when you fight someone else's side, you've got to get in the "mud" with them!

Christians often try to disguise their lying through humor! But a lie is still a lie is still a lie!

It is the trait of the "ungodly" that when they find out something negative about something that they have to go share it with somebody! Remember gossip is simply "evil speaking" about someone. It can be true and still be gossip. It's best to not be the bearer of bad news about someone's image. If God wants to bring them down a notch, He doesn't need your help! Gossips always seem to have a "self appointed duty" to help God out by making the "truth" known.

If someone tells you something in confidence as a friend, then don't tell others about it. If you do, then you do not think very highly of friendship and soon will not have to worry about friends at all!

Before you criticize someone, ask yourself "what have I personally done to help them or teach them to act differently." If the answer is "nothing" then KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT! If you have to preface a statement with "I don't mean to be critical but..." don't say it at all! I like the response of the famous painter when told that a certain critic had given him a bad review. He said "they never erect statues to critics." Remember the next time that you feel critical about something that your critical attitude proves that you yourself are doing nothing and only those who are doing something for God get criticism! Your criticism also proves your lack of unity because "you don't punch holes in the boat that you are within." Also remember that people criticize what they personally have a problem with. If you can recognize a fault in someone's life enough to criticize it but not try to help them, that is proof that you yourself have the same problem because if you had gotten the victory over such a thing, you would be anxious to assist others!

With anger usually comes the excuse that "I can't control it" or "I inherited my anger." Those are flimsy excuses to someone who is supposed to be filled with the Holy Ghost. What you are saying is "I don't want to change." The scripture also says:

Someone who will not make themselves calm down and do what is right despite what they feel like is defenseless to the attacks of Satan and will not be able to live victoriously for God!

That's good advice. Don't be like the person who asks the questions and then doesn't wait for the answer. When you pray, remember to "listen."

You will have to "eat your words" so make sure that they are sweet and delightful! Don't ever say "I would never do that" because you may find yourself in the same boat just so that you can learn to have mercy on others within their faults!

If you had to repeat something, then chances are repeating it a hundred times is not going to change it. In a relationship it is called "nagging" and the scripture equates it to the irritating noise of a dripping sink!

Don't give in the trap of exalting people who are sinners and are nowhere close to God. If someone is trying to get close to God, then encourage them at each step, but if someone is nowhere near interested in serving God, don't emphasize or mention their strong points! To do so, is to exalt the wicked and will cause people to hate you!

Ahh! Nothing like a practical scripture. Too many people never accomplish anything because they are always in "conversation." Remember that talking when you should be working "leads to poverty." If your conversation habits are always causing you to run late for appointments and to not be able to get things accomplished, then you will probably live your life in poverty! There is a time for visiting and we should always be affable, but when it's time to work, it's time to work.

God help us to remember when to keep our mouths shut!